Confessions of a Fashion Model

I will never forget the first Music class I had at the American School. The teacher had a very alternative style (at least for that time) and he made a big circle so that the students could face each other. He suggested an exercise: We had to declare a good and a bad thing about the person in front of us.

Right there in front of me sat a really chubby boy with round glasses. Gosh, I even remember his name, even after twenty-seven years: Francisco. A good thing about him...hmmm, let me see... "He has a great smile!" I said. And then he smiled.

Then the teacher asked, "What about the bad thing??" I'd always been very careful not to hurt anybody's feelings...but then the professor obliged me to get it out of my system. So I said in a low tone, "He is a little chubby..." Little! The whole class laughed, which made me even more uncomfortable and from red I turned to purple.

"You only said physical aspects... I want personality traits..." Bit~t~e me! I always thought that a great smile came from a great personality, but a fat body came from a bad eating habit, plus a bit of (should I have said bite again?) lack of self-care. Francisco then said, "She's very pretty! But she's way too shy..." And the whole class made a huge sound like saying, "I totally agree!"

I had to overcome my excessive shyness to become all that I dreamed for me. And then I became a model so that I could accomplish all that. This work allowed me not only to pay my studies, my travels, but also to open my mind to a whole new world. There were many who considered this job as a futile vanity fair, depreciating it to the bones. But only those who have small brains cannot realize that this job requires a lot of patience, good humor, balance, and energy, not to mention the people skill.

And models have to be quite a strong personality to overcome all the rejections they would eventually have to face. I remember when I was at a model agency in Paris, showing my portifolio to a totally oblivious person. She didn't even look at it, she didn't even take a second to look at me and said, "Tu n'as pas le look de Paris." I said, "Thank God I don't have the Parisian Look... Or I would be dead by now!"

I just saw the Fashion Show in Paris, with all the anorexic models shaking their bones, and standing on the catwalk, smoking. Never wondered why they all have that dead fish look in their eyes, that cadaveric regard, and cheek bones ready to crack? Lack of food and oxygen in their brains. And they are the ones showing the fashion these days...Would you rather fit on that image?? No, thanks... 'd rather not! More than anything else I'd rather think to myself that I was first of all and above all a model of health, not hell. For as much as I've been in Persephone's world, I always have a big smile over my face wherever I go... for a smile is contagious! And as the world is the reflection of your own world, it's much better to project joy into your life and onto others, than to desert before the dessert. To blame is to be lame.
Just try to tame.

And now they are using children with too much make up and dressed like adults. When will they know that a child looks so much better being a child?? That's just a reflection of a world which seems to have lost its parameter...No wonder our planet looks so sick...you don't have to look inside the cover of a magazine to find that out. It's right there in front cover!

"Photos of Thoughts"

There once was a girl who wished she could know the secret of the Sea and all the mysteries of the Universe. Every day the girl would look outside her window to see the sun rising on the ocean. She then went to search for the secret. Some said it was possible to hear the secret on a seashell. So the girl put the shell near her ear. But she heard nothing at all. Others said she could hear the ocean while waiting the sunset. She would be able to hear the secret of the sea, right into that magical moment when the sun softly touches the horizon and melts into the ocean. So she waited. But again, in vain, she could not hear a thing.

But in the sea she could see a boat floating. She observed and saw that inside that boat there lied another girl. She saw the girl was crying. And she realized that the girl was her own self. And she felt. She felt the taste of her own tears. Just then she was able to care. And she saw that the secret of the great Sea... had always been within.

"Photos of Thoughts" by Ana Antunes available at: http://www.lulu.com/content/119873

SUNSHINE

"A lovely dream the Universe that is!
And I wish we can all be part of this.
I can only ask if I could possibly share
my dreams with you so much I should dare.

While I chant it, so enchanted I sigh..
And I hoped you too might feel all right.
I wish we may all be as light as feather.
Imagine us as a ball full of light I'd rather.

Here I leave my humble song,
Hope you feel it all along...
Lights are the days to come and go,
For blessed and loved we all are so.

This is not a Druid poetry or chant,
But I do the best I can. Or can't!"
(A sonnet by Ana C. Antunes)


"You make me flip-flop, you make me fly,
You make me tip-top, up in the sky
and there to lie and from there to drop.
There where my freedom no one would stop.

You make me float right through your eyes...
You make me pass throughout your vice. (repeat)
How beautiful is your nature in velvet ground!
I see the sun smiling up high when you are around...
I see the light right into the core of your brow." (repeat)
Song by Ana ´nTunes