In my Mother Tongue

Where was I thirty years ago? Right in the "crux" of a revolution of costumes, there I was born at the Ana Coast Hospital. "Grazing in the Grass" by Hugh Masekela and "I Pretend" by Des O'Connor were number one on the radios that day. At two days of living in this planet I was in a mi(l)ca way, predestined by the stars above, brought by my mother's arms to an apartment in the ninth floor in a building named Cineland, right at the corner of a major avenue also named Ana Costa, which translated into English will be something like Ana Coast, there where the best theatres of that city showed the newest movies. And I can still recall my first five years walking into that shore for miles and miles of distance from the sea, running to the big blueish-green ocean. Like a little turtle just getting off its egg, I was eager to be swallowed by a huge wave from the warm and mellow waters of the Atlantic Ocean that gently bathes the Southeast coast of Brazil. I remember very clearly that we were already in the end of a Dictatorship Regimen, and I still did see myself obliged to sing the National Hymn, every morning at seven o'clock sharp and no excuse to be late, right at the patio of my dear Primary School. We had to make a formation, touching each other's shoulders with our arms extended in a type of echelon. Wearing our uniforms in a neat way, we were armed only by our convictions that one day we would be allowed to just remember that as a faded dream that passed by our lives. One or two giggled for stepping in each other's shoes, obliging the other to get off line to incorporate the foot back in line. Our heads and shoulders had to be maintained in a straight position. Then almost always an invited officer with a quite often rumble and bumble speech with a full chest dissimulating a grandeur personality set a platinum disk over a Victrola which played the LP with a sharp niddle slightly touching the strings of a petroleum colorwhich made the music magically play. And after hearing him bloviating an hour or so, we had to sing an Hymn (depending on the occasion) so out loud and in unison, that we would constantly be off tune, as we couldn´t listen ourselves anymore, but a big chorus with so many sounds that made the world an unique orchestra of voices. But that didn´t mean we could work solo, as if we could sing a wrong note, or we were obliged to repeat that again and again until we got it right with the tune. And I mimed my colleagues from my First Grade, for sometimes the National Hymn had so many fancy words my six-year-old brain could not grasp the meaning and I would often forget the second part of the Epopee. I felt like a little ant among many big irrefragable elephants. Whether elephants make love or war, it is the grass, and ants, that suffer thus far! But now I sing proudly every National Hymn (no matter which nationality) as long as it shows the love for the land and for all people, I sing to each flag, a National symbol which do not divide but show respect for each and every diversity in our world that lead us to a unique voice, and to whatever says of the love for humanity. It´s been hard to grow up in such a hardship, so difficult times passed my way, but I am glad "I made it through the rain" like a Manilow, singing it high, or singing it low. I´m a child of the world!
And I also felt as if I were ensorcelled by the moments of inspiration given to me as a gift during my immemorial in-fancy time in Santos. And those are indeed the deeds and the treasures that I will keep inside my heart and soul. And my eternal gratitude for a city that gave me so much enticement beneath its ludic rays of freedom and happiness, that all make me keep on with the chorus of emotions that the enchanting shore still brings to me. And it motivates me to declare with plenty of enthusiasm and my lungs full of light air that "I am a santista, and sportiest, and an artist" to whom Santos is an ever-present praised unprecedented scenario.

Where am I going to be thirty years from now? Probably, with the same happiness and sweetness in my eyes, with the same idealisms, perhaps a little bit wiser and just, but still with the same innocence: For life will never loose its subtle touch for those who remember their childhood with some glimpses of sublime experiences from wishful hearts. Maybe the innocence lies on each small look from a petit child who naively wishes to be happy. And the idealism inhabits the wistful thoughts of those who desirably fight and will never cease striving to bring happiness and freedom to all. It's simple as that morning walking contemplation of a matutinal stroll by the sun in a candent candor from the beginning of summer days at the shores of a roboranting beach city in the name of all Saints.

Check out my book "Many Lives to Love...and The Eternity to Live" with plenty of stories, one of them passed in a fructuous Harbor/Beach city called Santos at: http://www.lulu.com/Virtual Bookstore


"South Adagio"
"Saudade" it is a word that only exists in Portuguese.
It is from the heart, but it doesn't make it any easy.
(Although it can make it a little cheesy
to rhyme Portuguese so at ease...Please!)
It could be translated just as this:
I, Miss Ana, Miss You...
You could say, "I miss you" but it is in a different tone.
It is even more intense than the sense of missing someone...
You really feel your heart full of the existence of that person
And at the same time it is empty for the lack of that one.
Filling the emptiness...
It is about the way I wished upon a feather,
Just when I left a piece of my heart in that letter
where I said that my love for you wouldn't ever die.
And you thought that it was just another lie...
Like a little gust of a wind blowing,
leaving the earth and saying, "Saudades"
I feel the emptiness even knowing
that I still have the remembrance of us.
"Adeus" or, if you excuse me, "Adios!"


In my Mother Tongue (Brazilian Portuguese)
Em 1968 eu nascia na Maternidade Ana Costa e aos dois dias de idade já estava como que predestinada no apartamento do nono andar no edifício Cinelandia da Av. Ana Costa, no seio de minha família praticamente toda santista. Lembro bem das minhas primeiras cinco "aninhas". Recordo que eu tinha que caminhar o que, para uma criança como eu que sempre foi tamanho petit, eram intermináveis "mil léguas supra-marinas", a distancia da orla no meu percalço rumo ao mar. Lembro que já estávamos no fim da Ditadura e eu me via obrigada a cantar no mais alto e claro tom o Hino Nacional inteiro, e eu que fazia de conta que sabia de cor a segunda parte, imitando com caras e bocas os meus colegas de escola. Hoje a inspiração e a alegria que me trazem aqueles tempos de infância passados na Orla da praia de Santos vividos ao sol da liberdade em raios "lúdicos" e a minha eterna gratidão a tão saudável e saudosa Santos me levam a seguir em meu caminho ao mar de emoções que essas lembranças me trazem, e poder dizer com uma voz clara e feliz que sou santista, e sou artista e esportista dessa minha vida de Cinema onde Santos é cenário imprescindível. Onde eu deverei estar daqui a 30 anos? Provavelmente com a mesma doçura no olhar, com o mesmo idealismo; talvez mais sábia e mais justa, mas igual de inocente. Pois que a vida não perderá jamais a singeleza desde que rememoráveis anos repassem sob nossos corações sempre que assim almejarmos. Talvez a inocência esteja no olhar pequenino de cada menino que esmera ser feliz. E o idealismo seja o de alcançarmos todos a felicidade plena; simples, assim, como o caminhar num dia de sol na orla da praia de Santos.

Confessions of a Fashion Model

I will never forget the first Music class I had at the American School. The teacher had a very alternative style (at least for that time) and he made a big circle so that the students could face each other. He suggested an exercise: We had to declare a good and a bad thing about the person in front of us.

Right there in front of me sat a really chubby boy with round glasses. Gosh, I even remember his name, even after twenty-seven years: Francisco. A good thing about him...hmmm, let me see... "He has a great smile!" I said. And then he smiled.

Then the teacher asked, "What about the bad thing??" I'd always been very careful not to hurt anybody's feelings...but then the professor obliged me to get it out of my system. So I said in a low tone, "He is a little chubby..." Little! The whole class laughed, which made me even more uncomfortable and from red I turned to purple.

"You only said physical aspects... I want personality traits..." Bit~t~e me! I always thought that a great smile came from a great personality, but a fat body came from a bad eating habit, plus a bit of (should I have said bite again?) lack of self-care. Francisco then said, "She's very pretty! But she's way too shy..." And the whole class made a huge sound like saying, "I totally agree!"

I had to overcome my excessive shyness to become all that I dreamed for me. And then I became a model so that I could accomplish all that. This work allowed me not only to pay my studies, my travels, but also to open my mind to a whole new world. There were many who considered this job as a futile vanity fair, depreciating it to the bones. But only those who have small brains cannot realize that this job requires a lot of patience, good humor, balance, and energy, not to mention the people skill.

And models have to be quite a strong personality to overcome all the rejections they would eventually have to face. I remember when I was at a model agency in Paris, showing my portifolio to a totally oblivious person. She didn't even look at it, she didn't even take a second to look at me and said, "Tu n'as pas le look de Paris." I said, "Thank God I don't have the Parisian Look... Or I would be dead by now!"

I just saw the Fashion Show in Paris, with all the anorexic models shaking their bones, and standing on the catwalk, smoking. Never wondered why they all have that dead fish look in their eyes, that cadaveric regard, and cheek bones ready to crack? Lack of food and oxygen in their brains. And they are the ones showing the fashion these days...Would you rather fit on that image?? No, thanks... 'd rather not! More than anything else I'd rather think to myself that I was first of all and above all a model of health, not hell. For as much as I've been in Persephone's world, I always have a big smile over my face wherever I go... for a smile is contagious! And as the world is the reflection of your own world, it's much better to project joy into your life and onto others, than to desert before the dessert. To blame is to be lame.
Just try to tame.

And now they are using children with too much make up and dressed like adults. When will they know that a child looks so much better being a child?? That's just a reflection of a world which seems to have lost its parameter...No wonder our planet looks so sick...you don't have to look inside the cover of a magazine to find that out. It's right there in front cover!

"Photos of Thoughts"

There once was a girl who wished she could know the secret of the Sea and all the mysteries of the Universe. Every day the girl would look outside her window to see the sun rising on the ocean. She then went to search for the secret. Some said it was possible to hear the secret on a seashell. So the girl put the shell near her ear. But she heard nothing at all. Others said she could hear the ocean while waiting the sunset. She would be able to hear the secret of the sea, right into that magical moment when the sun softly touches the horizon and melts into the ocean. So she waited. But again, in vain, she could not hear a thing.

But in the sea she could see a boat floating. She observed and saw that inside that boat there lied another girl. She saw the girl was crying. And she realized that the girl was her own self. And she felt. She felt the taste of her own tears. Just then she was able to care. And she saw that the secret of the great Sea... had always been within.

"Photos of Thoughts" by Ana Antunes available at: http://www.lulu.com/content/119873

SUNSHINE

"A lovely dream the Universe that is!
And I wish we can all be part of this.
I can only ask if I could possibly share
my dreams with you so much I should dare.

While I chant it, so enchanted I sigh..
And I hoped you too might feel all right.
I wish we may all be as light as feather.
Imagine us as a ball full of light I'd rather.

Here I leave my humble song,
Hope you feel it all along...
Lights are the days to come and go,
For blessed and loved we all are so.

This is not a Druid poetry or chant,
But I do the best I can. Or can't!"
(A sonnet by Ana C. Antunes)


"You make me flip-flop, you make me fly,
You make me tip-top, up in the sky
and there to lie and from there to drop.
There where my freedom no one would stop.

You make me float right through your eyes...
You make me pass throughout your vice. (repeat)
How beautiful is your nature in velvet ground!
I see the sun smiling up high when you are around...
I see the light right into the core of your brow." (repeat)
Song by Ana ´nTunes

My Works

This blog shows some Synopses of my Novels, such as Ice Stage and "Sensuousness" A Palindrome Wor(l)d, also my Memoirs and Articles for adults, and Picture Books, poetry and plays for both children and adults to stimulate healthy and creative views. The adults might have as much fun reading my books for kids as the children will have watching the grown-ups having fun. I've always had a photographic memory that I've tried to develop.
As a writer, dancer, illustrator and choreographer I try to capture the same image I have on my mind's eye to translate it into words. I've been also quite optic-mystic and even my blood type tells me so :I'm a B-positive! I translated and illustrated a magazine entitled "Magia" published by Editora Ondas. I just found out that I had dyslexia before I went to school, after reviewing an old notebook where I wrote all numbers backward, such as Leonardo Da Vinci! And it seems that this latent talent runs on the family: my five-yrs-old nephew also writes his name backwards. But my love for words had me working hard to develop language skills. Maybe thanks to all my efforts to eventually overcome my deficiencies that I could see things usually in an unusual way, making my wor^l^d so peculiar. My books are unique for they come from my heart, my own life experience that I cherish and try to share it with the readers. I made my début in the theater when I was fifteen in the Opera Carmina Burana at the Opera House of Sao Paulo. Since then I've been on TV commercials, Soap Operas, Interviews, TV programs, Cinema, Magazines, Newspapers and recently at the Theatre and TVCable. I plan to create choreographies and dramatization of my stories, to be performed by all age groups. Since I will continue my career as an instructor, as a model/act-hlete, and author, Dance&Theatre should enhance my work.

Hope you enjoy my works as much as I enjoy creating. One of my books is now in the hands of a Canadian editor at Devine Destinies. And what a devine destiny that is!

About the Author

I have been writing and composing since the day that I created a prelude, composing some notes (which I still have recorded on my brain) on a small piano toy at the age of three. But I first put my two feet at the theatre, playing the flute to a big audience at Mackenzie Institute, when I was seven years old. Since then I fell in love with the performing world. Then I graduated in Arts in 1990 with license in Artistic Education at the University FAAP in Sao Paulo. I started my career at an early age, performing in the Opera Carmina Burana at the Municipal Theatre in Sao Paulo, also dancing for the Young Ballet of Sao Paulo, at The Nutcracker for the Metropolitan Ballet Theatre in Washington, and for the Bicentenary of the French Revolution in the Pacaembu Stadium. I acted in many Dance/Theatre productions, such as the Ormand Dance Company from Germany. I also produced a play by Monteiro Lobato at the English Culture. From 2002 to 2003, I taught Creative Movements at the Montgomery College, in both Germantown and Rockville, in the US. As a Ballet teacher and choreographer, I worked at the Black Rock Centre for the Arts, and in 2003 I staged my students on their auditorium. I also choreographed the musical play "Man of La Mancha" in the occasion of the Fourth Centenary of the Quixote of Cervantes, performed on December, 2005 at the Santiago College. I had the opportunity to perform in a large number of TV commercials and soaps and other programs, as a model/actor, working with amazing talents such as the director Fernando Meirelles, also nominated for the Oscars 2004/05. I performed as a guest (literally!) in Dona Anja's Wedding at the Brazilian Soap Opera "Dona Anja" by SBT and as a "groupie" in "Tiro & Queda", a soup which was shown in both Brazil and Portugal. And I worked in a commercial film with the Chilean director Pablo Larrain, writer and producer of the movie "Fuga", winner as the Best First Movie at the Cartagena's Film Festival in 2007. I also participated in two films that reached the big screen, being one of them where I showcased some Martial Arts Mouvements.

As an International Model/Athlete/Artist who loves to dance on wor(l)ds I've been travelling literally around the world! Once someone told me that I was too short (and too fat!) to be a model. But at that time I had already been in a dozen of Fashion Shows, TV Commercials and Interviews, and I've been shooting still in other thousands of photos and films, and have hundreds of magazines as witness, to really care about what that tall thin-legged blonde Modelling Agent had said to me. Once someone told to whoever could hear in that Ballet School Rehearsal that I could never be a ballerina. But I'd already endured two auditions with more than five thousand girls and I was one of the twelve who actually made it to the Company. I beat all the odds and, in spite of my flat feet, I became a professional dancer, not only at home, but also worldwide. Once someone told me that my English was flat. Now I just signed a contract with a Canadian Publisher and I have an anthology on the way by another American editor. To all those who got the nerves to say the word "never", this is my contribution to this wor(l)d: Take out all the negativity and... For-ever Yourself!

I started to write and illustrate my poetic books and fictions when I was nine, just to entertain myself but I always dreamed of making other kids enjoy my creations as well. When I was eleven years old I created a series of comic books, which I still keep on my hometown treasure island of Santos in Brazil. Since then, I wrote novels for adults based upon my life and Picture Books and Nursery Rhymes for children. I wrote poems and short-stories for an anthology by Mackenzie Publishing (1984). I illustrated the cover of the magazine Magia in 1990 (Editora Ondas). My poems were published on the National Literary Magazine "Mirante" (sept/2006) and on the ezine Aphelion (July/2007). One of my stories is part of the anthology Spiritual Visitations by Zumaya Publications to be released on 2008. My writings can also be found on another anthology "A Thousand Voices" by Adventures Books of Seattle. My book "Life is Too Short Make it a Biog Shot" will be release in August 1st by the Canadian Publisher Devine Destinies-http://www.devineshop.com

I would love to receive upbeat and constructive, funny thought-provoking critiques as much as I deliver them. So, if you have any comment on how to improve my writing skills to reach the publishing media that will be a plus! Any note, from D minor to B flat major (to An A) will be very much appreciated.

Winners of National Swimming Competitions, both my grandmother (at 80) and I were interviewed by the Local News Globo Network Television, and also for a National Magazine in Brazil. My granny expressed her satisfaction on the competition for she had just started into sports some six years earlier. I, in the other hand, spoke about the importance of practicing any kind of sports, to restart if stopped, or to just begin into it, and exercising together to keep the family ties.
I recently wrote an article for the NaturalHealthWeb Magazine.

Ana Claudia Antunes, aka Deka, was born in 1968, in Santos, Brazil. She spent her childhood in the Beach City until 1973, when her family definitely decided to move to the big city of Sao Paulo.

(Click here for a full version):
"Dancing On Wor^l^ds" (on DVD)

In 1973, she began her first drafts at a German School in Sao Paulo.

From 1975/84, she studied at the Mackenzie Institute. Gymnast for Mackenzie and
YMCA team, she participated in competitions at the Ibirapuera
Gymnasium, and she also won competitions on swimming and a silver medal for sailing in Brazil (competing on National Regattas).

She first wrote and illustrated her poetic books and fictions when she was ten years old, to entertain herself but she had already the dream of making other kids enjoy her creations as well. At the age of twelve she designed a comic book, which she still keeps in a treasure island in Brazil and have the name of her first publisher: Editora Ana Claudia.

Since then she wrote four novels for adults based upon her life and fifteen Picture Poem Books and Plays for children and adults which also contain her brush strokes and are replenished with spiritual messages. She was interviewed by a Brazilian magazine for an
article about Tai-Chi-Chuan.

From 1980/88 she studied Classical Ballet.
In 1987, she graduated at the official Ballet School of Sao Paulo. As a
dancer from the Ballet of Sao Paulo she performed “Carmina Burana” at the Opera
Theatre of Sao Paulo in 1983, and from 1986 to 1989 “Chopinian” “Four Seasons"
from “Vivaldi” and “Nuages” (from invited choreographers) in various stages
around the State. She studied Dance and Artistic Education for about twenty
years.

In 1984, she finished high school with the course “Translator and Interpreter in English”
at Mackenzie Institute in Brazil.In 1989/90 she worked at an advertising
agency as an assistant for the Art Director.In the middle of the year 1990 she graduated in Arts with License in Artistic Education at the University in Sao Paulo (FAAP) In the same year she went to England, where
she studied Holistic Therapies, at the Centre of Alternative Medicine in
Southampton.

From 1989 to 1991, she worked at Physics
Academy where she taught Jazz/Ballet and also stretching and Aerobics. In 1993 and 1997, she went to Paris to work
as a translator and interpreter for the Brazilian Publisher "Rede das Artes".

She attended classes of Art and Literature at the University of Paris III/IV (at the Sorbonne Building) and French Theater at
Alliance Française in Paris . She worked as a volunteer, teaching Arts and Dance for underprivileged children. From
1994/95 she finished a Master Class in Dance and Theater, where she learned
Anatomy for Dance, Make-Up, Scenery, Costume Designs, History of Dance, Mime,
Improvisation, Choreography, Acting, Modern Dance, Myth, Music, and Brazilian
Dances (including Capoeira) among other elements, to create a Dance/Theater
composition to perform on stage.

In 1995/96 she lived in Los Angeles, where
she studied dance from other cultures (African, Hindu, Indian and Folkloric
Dances)at WAC (World Arts and Culture) in UCLA. There she worked as a Movie Reviewer for HBO. She also signed a contract with Ford Models in L.A. She
produced a children's play called “Emilia’s Marriage” from the Brazilian writer
Monteiro Lobato with children at the English Culture. She also participated in
many performances with Dance/Theatre groups, including the Ormand Dance Company
(Contact Improvisation) from Germany. She made two guest appearances in
Brazilian Soap Operas she also performed Dance, Gymnastics and
Fashion Shows for TV programs and TV commercials (and Cinema), photos, posters and catalogs for clients such as Nike, Volkswagen,
Johnson's Shampoo, L'Oreal, Chevrolet, Lever, Peugeot, Sherwin William's, Du Pont, Wal-mart, Flow Catalog , among many others.

From 1998/99, she taught Ballet and Yoga
classes for children and adults at "Fitness World" academy. In 2000 and 2001 she
became Master in Kung Fu teaching the children at the US Martial Arts Academy in Gaithersburg,
Maryland.

In 2002 she became a staff member at the
Metropolitan Ballet Theatre in Rockville. She also started to teach Movement and
Arts at the Montgomery College. She signed a contract as an employee at the
Black Rock Center for the Arts in Washington, D.C. In Dec/2002 she performed at “The
Nutcracker” with the Metropolitan Ballet Theatre. In 2003 she choreographed at the Black Rock Center in Washington (music by the Brazilian composer Chico Buarque de Hollanda) and from 2003/05 she taught Yoga and Pilates at the Holistic Center "Cuerpo Unico" in Santiago, Chile.

She's been giving Dance/Drama Workshops and Chi Kung & YogaDance classes for both children and adults, also assisting in the creation of musicals and staging her own plays. If you enjoy games of divination here is Dive-In-Action. She published other books, which are all so viable and also available at her Virtual Bookstore